Celebs

I think the celebrities are avoiding me. I’ve lived here for almost four months and I can count the number of celebrities I’ve seen on one hand.

1. Tony Hale of Arrested Development fame, but that doesn’t count because he’s good friends with my friend Bob, so I forgot he was a celebrity. He was very cool though, and even went so far as to poke a little fun at my effervescence.
2. The douche bag from Maroon 5. Again, doesn’t count, because he sucks.
3. Rhea Perlman: Totally counts, because Carla ruled on Cheers and her children were adorable and well-behaved.

I’ve been told that, living in Echo Park, I’d have a few frequent freebies to notch it up with Chloe Sevigny and Vincent Gallo (what they lack in iconic star power they more than make up for in poor hygiene), but even they seem to elude me.

Some folks have said that if I go to porn shops I’ll run into Carrot Top. I don’t even know what to do with that information.